Friday, April 30, 2010

Final Design Project - Confined_Escape

Below are the illustrations for my final design project, entitled Confined_Escape. The concept was juxtaposing confinement [pulled from my experiences working retail] with the idea of escape. The confinement part was executed by way of strappy, strait-jacket like elements used in interesting ways that were paired with the escape elements that were light and airy.

And here is a form study I did:
I have to say that after working on this project for a solid 4-weeks, and then a 6-hour critique [where only about 12-minutes of that was mine], I feel sad and a little lonely, like a lost a friend. But I guess that just means I have time to do things like take showers, eat long dinners, and do my laundry. I guess this is a good thing.

If the Sartorialist Came to San Francisco ...

Meet my design Professor, Charlie. He always comes to school impeccably dressed. And particularly on crit day, he looked like he walked off the Sartorialist, and came straight to school.

Friday, April 23, 2010

I Was Blind and Now I See. [a statement]

I have thought about this post for a very long time. Should I do it? Do I reveal myself? Is anyone going to care? Does anyone even read this? Well, no one probably cares all that much, or reads. So here it goes.

So this is what happened. I am deep into my final project for my Fashion Design class. Deep into it. I took a bike ride this morning to reflect a little bit, and it occurred to me that I haven't been completely honest. I am an artist. A creative person. I see the world through eyes that allow me to appreciate the beauty, the humor, the grotesque. This existed in me all along. But the only way I've been able to access it - to channel it - was to get sober.

I was always a creative person. But for years and years my priority had nothing to do with being creative. My priority was to not feel, and so I accessed whatever I needed to completely zone out. I wasn't participating in my life. I didn't want to, really. I wanted to die.

It wasn't until I got sober - and started accessing a spiritual solution - that things changed. All of a sudden, I can see the world. Like really see, really hear, really taste, really smell. And really love. How did I get this amazing life? I am a student. I get to learn about art. Participate. Really feel it. I get Friday's off to take bike rides and draw. I get to listen to music while I work. I get to zone out and feel a free high. I get to feel anger and sadness, and channel that through my work.

I used to be jealous of my friends that were artists. So jealous I hated them. Although I didn't know my fate, I think I was resentful because I wanted so bad what they had but didn't feel like I deserved it, or was worth it. So now I'm becoming the person that I didn't know I was capable of being. Sometimes I don't believe it. Sometimes I think this must be a dream. And most of the time I just thank God.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

I Am Anxious.

3 weeks left of the semester. And I am anxious. Here's an illustration by Carlotta from the book Fashion Illustration Now to ease the mood. Meowwwww

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Fashion and Sustainability - a Journey of Discovery

My eco professor, Lynda Grose, spoke at the De Young yesterday about fashion and sustainability - and what designers around the world are doing. Those who attended were intrigued. Wanted to listen. Wanted to learn. Felt passionately. Wanted to participate and share. I sat in my seat, smiling - in disbelief that this is my life. I get to be a part of this. I get to be her student. I'm feeling better about my previous discomfort.

There are tons of good design solutions that don't rape our world of precious resources. A few of us wore some of these solutions - I wore a yellow dress (pictured below) that used to be stained from Strawberry juice that was dropped onto it at a wedding. In order to be able to continue wearing the dress & to deter it from going to a landfill [where it won't decompose ...], an embroiderer embroidered the names of the married couple and their wedding date onto the dress, covering the stain. Super subtle. Other solutions were a dress that was designed to be dirty - you can stain it, wipe your hands on it - it's part of the design to prevent overwashing. And another dress was made up of tons of panels with snaps - you can change the neckline, hemline or the color simply by shift the snaps to allow the wearer some variety.

Here are a few pics:

A Letter to My Professor - "I am screwed"

Sent this to Lynda when I felt like I didn't want to go on.

Hi Lynda,

As you know - your class has changed me. It came at the right time. But I am so confused and feel like I'm having a dilemma. I guess in so many ways it's a spiritual dilemma. The more info you give us, the more I seek out on my own - and I am angry. I am angry because I don't really know what to do. What is my part in this? Is it enough that I am just doing "my part"? Is it enough that I'm doing "my best"? or is there something else?

At the moment I feel somewhat screwed. I am unable to go over a friends house to eat without judging their choice of food, or what they put in their garbage. Their choice of how and where to shop. I am angry because they don't have the information - they just don't get it. They are worried about calories or cost, without considering anything else. They have no clue. And we're talking educated people who are professionally successful. How do I present this info to them without seeming judgmental or bitchy? Or, do I just keep my mouth shut, and continue doing what I think is best, and hope that people ask or notice??

I am watching The Corporation right now and I'm feeling emotional and angry. I'm not sure I want to keep learning about this ... it's making me feel completely helpless. Like we're all screwed. And the worst part is so many [educated] people are completely unconscious of any of what's been exposed to me this semester. So unconscious ... I'm not sure I have faith that that could change - or that they are even willing to. And this is educated people I'm talking about - what about the uneducated ones?

I feel a little bit crazy about all this.

Do you ever feel like this? And what do you do?

Walking Through the Discomfort

As you know, I am a Fashion Design student California College of the Arts. I chose this school for a multitude of reasons - but one of the main ones being that CCA's Fashion Design program is one of the only in the country that focuses on sustainable design. I really liked this.

So I am a Sophmore, and am taking the first class - eco seminar. I feel honored to have Lynda Grose as my professor - she started the program at CCA in 1999. The first program in the country. Lynda started the Eco Collection at Esprit almost 20 years ago ... and since then works to on so many different levels to make sustainable changes in the Fashion industry - and mostly works to educate.

Anyhow - the point is that Lynda has been feeding us with so much info about the environment and the fashion industry ... and for some reason I am passionate. Affected. So much so that I got so uncomfortable - I started feeling guilty about my decisions [and note I am not the average person - I am pretty proactive on so many levels about the choices I make for myself] -- I buy too much food that's packaged in plastic, my shampoo is harming the water, I am eating meat of an animal that had been abused/harmed/shot with drugs; I started judging others; I convinced myself that we've screwed ourselves and that the world is going to spontaneously combust. Soon. And to just save myself the time of writing an in-depth million page description of how I'm feeling + an instructional video .... I'll just say that this topic makes me feel supremely uncomfortable on so many levels. I've been given this gift of consciousness, but I am feeling helpless. I don't yet know what to do.

So I wait, and continue to walk forward. I've been taught to walk through discomfort... Through the judgment. Through my defects that have arisen (I am better than others for "knowing more than they do" ... and so on). And if I wait, if I'm open, I'll somehow know what my next step is. How I can help. How I can participate. Here I go. Waiting. ...