Saturday, April 10, 2010

A Letter to My Professor - "I am screwed"

Sent this to Lynda when I felt like I didn't want to go on.

Hi Lynda,

As you know - your class has changed me. It came at the right time. But I am so confused and feel like I'm having a dilemma. I guess in so many ways it's a spiritual dilemma. The more info you give us, the more I seek out on my own - and I am angry. I am angry because I don't really know what to do. What is my part in this? Is it enough that I am just doing "my part"? Is it enough that I'm doing "my best"? or is there something else?

At the moment I feel somewhat screwed. I am unable to go over a friends house to eat without judging their choice of food, or what they put in their garbage. Their choice of how and where to shop. I am angry because they don't have the information - they just don't get it. They are worried about calories or cost, without considering anything else. They have no clue. And we're talking educated people who are professionally successful. How do I present this info to them without seeming judgmental or bitchy? Or, do I just keep my mouth shut, and continue doing what I think is best, and hope that people ask or notice??

I am watching The Corporation right now and I'm feeling emotional and angry. I'm not sure I want to keep learning about this ... it's making me feel completely helpless. Like we're all screwed. And the worst part is so many [educated] people are completely unconscious of any of what's been exposed to me this semester. So unconscious ... I'm not sure I have faith that that could change - or that they are even willing to. And this is educated people I'm talking about - what about the uneducated ones?

I feel a little bit crazy about all this.

Do you ever feel like this? And what do you do?

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